The holiday season can be stressful for someone trying to maintain sobriety. Hence, it’s important that friends and family become familiar with and know how to respect someone’s boundaries while they’re in recovery.
One of the most critical steps to sobriety is learning examples of healthy boundaries in recovery. Knowing the types of situations that might prompt a relapse is vital to sustaining sobriety over the long haul. The holiday season, with its celebratory spirit and large, festive social gatherings, can be a trigger for those in the recovery process.
As the loved one of someone in recovery, it’s essential to understand that despite whatever boundaries they set during the holidays, it’s not because they don’t care for you. For their recovery to be successful, they must protect themselves. As a crucial member of your loved one’s support system, it’s your role to help facilitate that, as best you can, by respecting the boundaries, they’ve set.
With that in mind, let’s take a look at some tips for respecting others’ boundaries during the holiday season:
4 Tips for Respecting Boundaries in Addiction Recovery During the Holidays
Setting boundaries in addiction recovery is a way for someone to gain some control. It can go a long way in reducing anxiety and allowing them to feel more empowered. Even if you disagree or would like them to make an exception, just this once, for the holidays, it’s best not to push back or diminish the line they’ve established. Doing this shows that you respect their autonomy and helps build trust that can foster growth and healing in your relationship.
Communication Is Key
When preparing for holiday festivities, engaging with your loved one about any boundaries they’ve established is essential. Having an open conversation about their needs and what they’re comfortable with can help avoid any surprises or conflicts that could create an uncomfortable situation for either party.
Remember, don’t take it personally if a loved one doesn’t want to attend or leaves after only a brief stay. Their intent is not to offend you. Instead, understand that enforcing boundaries is a healthy display of your loved one’s desire for sustained sobriety.
Keep Plans Simple and Stress-Free
Be mindful of your loved one’s schedule around the holidays, and plan family gatherings accordingly to make them feel as included as possible.
Also, as much as you want to respect boundaries, there is no need to rearrange or upend your holiday calendar solely to meet the needs of your loved one. Just be mindful that certain holiday events, such as large social gatherings where alcohol flows freely, could violate the boundaries a person in recovery has established for themselves and may choose not to attend.
Reduce the Focus on Alcohol
Alcohol is often an integral element of many holiday gatherings. The celebratory spirit of the season, the break from school or work, or even the simple tradition of it all can lead to overindulgence at many holiday social events. Though not always, this can make people in recovery feel uncomfortable or isolated. For those in the early stages of recovery, being around others drinking may even go against their self-imposed boundaries.
One potential solution is to change the focus of your holiday gathering. Rather than everyone sitting around the table eating and drinking and conversing, try an outdoor holiday event such as a tree lighting or Christmas festival that encourages bonding and togetherness while de-emphasizing the role of alcohol.
Encourage Their Support Network
The holidays are a vulnerable time for those in recovery. Understanding this, and learning to respect others’ boundaries as they attempt to maintain sobriety, is key to establishing a solid support network. Most importantly, remember that recovery is a long, complex process. The more you respect boundaries during the holiday season, the less stressful and more successful it may be for your loved one.
Retreat Family knows how crucial a good support system is to those on the journey to recovery. If you are looking for more tips on how to respect someone’s boundaries during the holidays, Retreat offers free services and resources. This includes family workshops and support groups that can supply you with the tools to best help your loved one through recovery.